


All Along

by Gameguy199



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Heartbreak, Kissing, Love, M/M, Turtlecest, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3372368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gameguy199/pseuds/Gameguy199
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the last 3 days Donnie has been shut up in his lab. Mikey decideds it's time to get to the bottum of his brother's behavior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Along

Slowly Mikey knocked on the door to Donnie's lab. The egghead turtle hadn't left his own personal sanctum sanctorum for almost 3 days, without offering any explanation as to why he suddenly wanted to be alone. In fact in the last 3 days he hadn't spoken to anyone; even splinter. 

When he got no response from his knocks Mikey spoke. "Donnie......its Mikey......."

he felt a faint twinge of relief when Donnie responded to him. "Go away."

Sighing Mikey spoke again. "Donnie.....it's been 3 days......you need to eat something."

Donnie's response was exactly what Mikey had expected it to be. "Not hungry."

Mikey grinned and he pulled the lid off the bowl of soup he'd made. "Are you sure........i made your favorite soup......"

after a moment of silence Donnie spoke again. "....really?"

Mikey grinned. His plan was working. He could practically hear Donnie's stomach grumbling in need. "Yes. It’s got lots of peas, carrots, potatoes."

His grin widened as this time he really did hear Donnie's stomach rumble loudly. A moment later he could hear movement from the other side of the door, before....

the large metal blast door slid back, giving Mikey the first view of his immediately older brother. Donnie looked exhausted and Mikey could tell from the way he moved that he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep. His eyes were dull, and his shoulders were hunched over as he reached for the tray of food Mikey was carrying. "Thank Mikey......."

but Mikey pulled the tray out of Donnie's reach. "Uh-uh, if you take this tray in there i won’t get it back for a week. I’m coming in and then when you're done eating I’ll take it back."

Donnie glared at him weakly for a moment before stepping aside and allowing Mikey to enter the lab. As the large sliding door shut behind him Mikey glanced around the lab. Half finished experiments lay strewn around the room. Piles and stacks of papers lay on almost every available surface. The air in the lab was thick and musty. "Geeze Donnie. What’s gotten into you?"

Donnie didn't respond but instead shoved a stack of papers off a table, sending the papers fluttering to the floor in a wide arc. 

Taking the hint Mikey set the tray of food down where the papers had been before taking a step back. He watched as Donnie dropped down onto the stool in front of the table and began to eat. As Donnie ate Mikey watched his him. Part of him wanted to ask questions, to try and find out why Donnie was acting so strangely. Another part of him was grateful that Donnie had even allowed him inside the lab, and he didn’t want to do anything to risk being thrown out again. And still another part of him didn't want to interrupt while Donnie ate for the first time in 3 days. "Thanks Mikey....."

Mikey nodded at the acknowledgement. "No problem Donnie.......I........I was worried."

He watched as Donnie paused for a moment, the spoon filled with soup midway to the purple turtle's mouth. After a moment Donnie put the spoon down, his shoulder slumping as he let out a loud sigh. "I’m.....sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.....any of you."

Mikey bit his lip, but decided to move; coming in closer so he could touch his brother's shoulder. "Donnie.......what's going on? I know something wrong but.......what? Did one of us say something wrong? Are you sick? Please.......what's going on Donnie?

He watched as Donnie looked up at him. Pain, confusion and humiliation, reflected in those reddish brown eyes. "I lost her."

Mikey shook his head slowly. "You lost......who?"

Donnie's sides began to shake. "April......I lost....April."

Mikey shook his head again. He still didn’t understand. April and Casey had been in the lair a few days ago. Hell Mikey had been texting with April just a few hours ago as he'd made Donnie's soup. "Donnie.....I don’t-"

but Donnie cut him off, his voice sad. "She left her notebook when she and Casey were over here a few days ago. I went to her house to give it to her and......and......"

Donnie's entire body was shaking now, and Mikey could see that tears were starting to form against those reddish brown eyes. Gripping Donnie's shoulder and arm Mikey pulled his brother up off the stool he'd been sitting on and guided him over to a large beanbag chair in the corner of the lab. "Donnie......it's ok. I promise it's ok......I’m here for you."

He watched as Donnie looked up at him gain, a small trail of tears beginning to trickle down his face. "I saw them.......Casey and April......they.......they......."

Donnie took a deep shuddering breath. "They were kissing.........and she said.....i love you.....to HIM."

Donnie spat the last word with a bit of anger. Mikey's eyes widened. But he did not speak as Donnie buried his face against Mikey's shoulder and began to cry. Gently Mikey moved, rubbing Donnie's neck and shell; doing his best to comfort the upset turtle. "Shhhhh, shhhhhh. It’s ok Donnie. Everything will be ok. You’re too good for her anyways." 

But Donnie shook his head. "No.....she was my only chance.......I’m alone......I’ll die alone.......I’m worthless.....i couldn’t even tell her i loved her.....I.....I.....no one loves me."

Against his will Mikey growled. An action that made Donnie pull away slightly. "M....Mikey?"

Mikey bit his lip. He hadn’t meant to growl. "Don’t say that......don’t say you're not loved. We all love you Donnie. Your family loves you."

Mikey watched as Donnie shook his head. "I know Mikey but it's not........the same love."

Mikey nodded slowly. "I know Donnie.......i know it's not the same but-"

But Donnie cut him off. "No you don’t Mikey. You don’t know. You’ve never been in love before. You have no idea what I’m feeling."

Again Mikey bit his lip. He’d never thought this would happen and certainly not like this. But now....as he looked up at his brother he knew.....

"You feel like there's a knife in your chest. That no matter what you do you can’t stop thinking about every little moment, every chance you could have taken but didn't because you were scared."

Mikey felt his face heat up as Donnie's eyes widened slightly. "Mikey....."

But Mikey continued to speak. "You want to yell and scream. You want to run up to hi.....her and tell her how you feel. But it's too late.........."

now tears were forming in Mikey's eyes, but he fought through them as he continued to speak. "You want to hold him.......her......and kiss her.......and tell you'll do anything so long as she stays with you."

Donnie felt his heart clench painfully. "Mikey.....how do you-"

But his words were cut off as Mikey moved, his neck straining upwards so he could brush their lips together for fraction of a second before dropping his head back down and closing his eyes. "M....M.....Mikey.......what's......."

His mind refused to work; refused to process what had just happened Mikey had kissed him.....MIKEY had KISSED.......him.

He watched as below him Mikey opened his eyes and looked up at him. "I know......what it's like to want someone.......to know in your heart that........you belong with them. And i know what it's like to lose that person.........to know that no matter how badly you want them.......they want someone else."

Donnie's brain was a whirlwind of thoughts. Each of them bellowing at him, shouting at him to pay attention to it. Memories of when he and Mikey had been younger. When Mikey had been 14 and asked about liking boys instead of girls, of all the times Mikey had crawled into bed with Donnie when he got scared, or all the times he'd caught Mikey's eyes watching him when Mikey thought he wasn’t looking, of touches that had lasted longer than they’d needed to. "Mikey........"

Mikey's eyes opened. "You.........you......."

slowly Mikey nodded. "I love you Donnie.......god help me i love you......."

Donnie felt his throat go dry. "How......how......how long?"

Mikey bit his lip. "Since we were 16 and you helped me get over my pneumonia."

He remembered that. He’d stayed with Mikey for hours, reading comic books to him, making sure he was comfortable, and even just holding his hand. "I know.....I know I’m not her........but......please........"

He felt Mikey move, the orange turtle's hands gripping the edges of Donnie's shell pulling him in closer. "Please..........just for tonight..........can you......pretend I’m her?"

Donnie bit his lip as he looked down at his youngest brother. He could see the need in Mikey's eyes. He could only imagine the pain he'd put his brother through when he'd come to Mikey asking questions about what gifts he should buy or ways he could try to impress April. Mikey had never shown the pain, he'd always dropped whatever he was doing to try and help him. 

Slowly Donnie shook his head. "No Mikey......no...."

Mikey let out a pained sob, his grip on Donnie's wrist becoming tighter. "Please Donnie........I ne-"

but Donnie interrupted him. "I wont pretend it's her........I’ll pretend it's you.....ok?" 

He didn't give Mikey a chance to respond, instead leaning down to press their lips together again. After a moment they broke apart. Donnie looked down at Mikey who was looking up at him, his eyes filled with need and want. 

"You don't need April to love you Donnie.........I’ve loved you all along."


End file.
